Reality Week: The things we say

Reality Week: The things we say

As I’ve noted elsewhere on this blog, my wife and I went into marriage with—we believe—expectations that acknowledged romance while making room (quite a bit of room, actually) for challenges. But a relationship isn’t all highs and lows, swinging between candle-lit dinners out and fights ending in tears. In fact, the bulk of it is spent in between those poles, even if the extremes make for more indelible memories.

So we get conversations about me buying new jeans at Ross, to replace the ones with a large hole that clearly shows off my underwear, which I nevertheless wore to church yesterday (true story); questions about scheduling trips to the mechanic and dentist on the same day; and triumphant announcements regarding fruit-fly-breeding-ground discoveries.

Children certainly contribute to the proliferation of these middle-of-the-road talks. My wife wouldn’t have been searching for the source of the fruit flies if we hadn’t packed a peach into a snack bag for my oldest daughter, then gone about our lives for a full week assuming it had been eaten and the snack bag put away.

(Children certainly contribute to the proliferation of fruit flies, too.)

These everyday words are necessary. I now own a pair of jeans that doesn’t display my choice of boxers (they had “love” written all over them, literally) to the congregation. Logistics have been worked out so that my wife won’t develop a cavity and the van’s airbag light will (hopefully) stop flashing at us. And we won’t have so many fruit flies around anymore.

These are the words our days are made of.

But there’s something more there, despite these words’ mundanity—or maybe even because of it. Choosing to spend each day with someone—knowing that most of those days will be filled with dishes and debates on bedtime and minor negotiations and all the rest—is an act of love itself. Which can make even the typical extraordinary.

Well, “extraordinary” may be a bit strong, but you get what I’m saying. My wife’s “I figured out where the fruit flies are coming from” is just like Westley’s “As you wish.”

What’s the word around your home?

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7 thoughts on “Reality Week: The things we say

  1. Sarah says:

    ()$;47§$
    (our baby opened my phone and typed this comment)

  2. Sarah says:

    The way you are catching the residual fruit flies in that water bottle filled with apple juice is pretty ingenious! Oh, and I love you too!

  3. Wendelin says:

    We are lovin’ the blog!

  4. David Moore says:

    Princess Bride reference?

    I’m going to read everything you post now. That is all.

  5. Bret says:

    Mundane, everyday words of love frequently heard at our place:
    “I can read to the girls tonight.”
    “How was your day?”
    “I’ll clean that up.”
    “What do you want to drink with dinner?”

    Thanks for the reminder to see them for what they are…

  6. […] had a lot of fruit flies in our house this autumn, and a few weeks back, I wrote about my wife discovering the apparent source: a peach that had been overlooked for a week in my 6-year-old’s thought-to-have-been-empty […]

  7. totallytk says:

    I work a 9-5 job and my roommate works mainly nights, therefore I leave the house hours before he wakes up. Every day he sends me a text wishing me a good day. It’s a small thing, but it reminds me that someone’s thinking about me. And that’s nice.

    tK

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